Hair Makes a Man
by doctoring
Summary: Eddy notices how close Nazz is getting to the new kid, Nat, and determines that it's gotta be the crazy hair color. He ropes Edd into helping him dye his hair. However, after a mishap in class, Kevin and Edd decide a hair dye prank is in order. / A fic written for Writer's Month. Word Prompt: colors


"What does she even see in him? He's loud and obnoxious!" Eddy complains noisily.

Edd bites his lip against the teasing comment of Eddy being loud and obnoxious himself. "Maybe Nazz just enjoys his company. That's typically a common trait between friends."

"Psh. Friends!? You think they're just friends!? There's no way a guy and a girl can be just friends. Never! Get a friggin clue, Sockhead."

"It's exactly that kind of mentality that causes girls to not-"

"IT'S THE HAIR!?"

"What?"

"It's gotta be the hair! That freaking bright-ass teal color!"

"Language, Eddy!"

"Whatever. You know I'm right. She's probably getting all chummy with the new kid all because of that crazy hair color. It's gotta be it."

"I assure you it's-"

"You're coming over this weekend, Double D. I'mma need your help."

Edd sighs heavily to himself. _I don't even know why I bother trying to reason with him._

The following Monday, Eddy shows up to school with deep blue hair, though it's barely noticeable at times. You can only see the blue tint in the sunlight, or really bright artificial lighting, which the school lacks in most rooms. It also doesn't help that Eddy's hair is so short, there wasn't much hair to hold the dye in the first place.

Eddy however thinks that it looks fantastic. He tries to get Nazz's attention more than usual that day, but to no avail.

He immediately blames Edd for it.

Edd scolded him. "I told you time and time again, that dye will not show up in your super short, dark hair, without bleaching it first. It's not going to be as bright as on the box unless you bleach the hair-"

"Fine. Then bleach my hair then."

Edd groans.

Eddy shows up with yellowed hair two days later, an obvious bleach job. Eddy managed to get Nazz's attention finally, but not in a good way.

"Dude. Your hair looks _wrecked_. What happened?"

Naturally, Eddy blamed it on Double D, claiming it was a science experiment gone bad.

Nazz walked off giving him a suspicious look and nodding. Eddy assumed she believed the lie, but everyone else who saw the interaction knew she didn't buy it for one second.

Edd, meanwhile, was standing near his own locker, and picking at a spot on his finger.

He startles when Kevin walks up and snatches his hand.

"What happened here?" Kevin said, inspecting the blemish on Edd's fingertip.

"Bleach."

Kevin immediately snaps his head to Eddy. He looks back at Edd. "Don't tell me you…"

"I did," Edd sighs. Eddy needed help to bleach his hair, and the glove had a hole in it, which I didn't notice until it started to burn."

Kevin let go of Edd's hand. Edd started rubbing hand sanitizer over the blemish. "I didn't have time to do a deep clean to get rid of it last night, and honestly, it's driving me crazy right now… though… I do think it's fading quite a bit."

Edd shows his finger to Kevin again, who just shrugs, unable to tell if it did fade with the hand sanitizer.

"HEY SOCKHEAD!" Both boys turned to Eddy who was slamming his own locker shut. "You're coming over this weekend again. I need a touch-up."

Edd just gives him a thumbs-up as Kevin quietly mumbles, "You need more than a touch-up; you need a-"

Edd gently slaps his arm and whispers, "Stop it!"

They watch Eddy saunter off to his last class of the day.

"So, I guess you'll be busy this weekend, huh?" Kevin teases him.

Edd shuts his own locker and groans.

"You should get him back for it."

"I don't think that's right."

"C'mon. Just give him the wrong color."

"Kevin, I don't-"

"I'll buy you lunch on Monday if you do it."

Edd shakes his head and checks his watch. "No can do, Kevin. Gotta get to class now."

Kevin just shrugs as Edd goes into the same classroom Eddy has entered moments ago.

As soon as Kevin reaches his locker after the end-of-school bell rings, Edd comes rushing up to him.

"Glad I caught you before practice!"

"No practice today. But yeah, what's up?" Kevin asks, opening his locker.

"Is the offer to buy lunch on Monday if I give him the wrong color still-"

Kevin slams his locker shut and fully turns towards Edd. "DUDE! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING-"

Edd holds up his white notebook, now soggy with a red liquid. "_Someone_ insisted on sneaking in a bottle of Gatorade into class. Now _all_ my notes are damp and red and RUINED."

"Dude, that sucks. Do you think you'll need help fixing that?"

"Perhaps… but right now… what color do you think would suit him?"

Kevin was _loving_ this vindictive side of Edd. They both turned when they hear Eddy's voice in the hall.

Kevin opens his locker again and started packing up his bookbag, eyeing the way Edd was glaring at Eddy. He knew that Edd put up with Eddy's shenanigans because they were friends for so long. But he also knew that ruining his notes for school was beyond crossing the line. It was completely demolishing the line then running past it another few miles.

Kevin threw an arm around Edd's shoulder and slowly walked him to his locker. He whispered, "How about a nice, bright, lime color. Maybe even lime yellow. Something more vibrant that that awful bleach he already has."

Edd smiles at him and nods fervently as he packs his own bookbag. "But how am I going to get away with it? He's going to see the color of the dye and know it's not right."

"Leave that to me. Got time to go to the store?"

"Yup!"

Edd and Kevin go to the local beauty supply store. Kevin makes Edd stand on the lookout, telling him not to look at what's he's doing, and not to judge him for it. It only takes two more times to convince Edd that this _must_ happen.

Kevin goes and carefully peels two labels off of two different jars of dye. Then he hands a lime green jar of dye to Edd. He sternly says, "Do. Not. Look. At. It."

Edd instinctively starts to look down at the jar. Kevin quickly grabs his chin and pulls his face up. Edd's breath hitches when he realizes how close Kevin's face is to his.

"I said not to look at it. Just buy it first. Then you can look. Promise me."

"I… I promise."

Kevin watches as Edd purchases the jar. He also sees Edd pull the jar out of the bag and examine the label once they step foot outside the store.

He spins on his heels towards Kevin. "Royal Blue? This is supposed to be Royal Blue?"

Kevin shrugs. "I figure he would want blue again since that's what he picked the first time. Besides, I'm sure that sciency brain of yours can come up with some legit-sounding reason as to why the dye is brighter than how it will appear on his hair… supposedly…" Kevin said, poking at Edd's head.

Edd turns the jar over and over in his hand as they walk back to Edd's car. "I guess if I just mention something about how Nazz is a fan of blue hair, he'll latch on to that and believe everything else I say."

"I mean, you're not wrong. She obviously _does_ likes blue hair."

Both boys laugh at the secret they were privy to, that Eddy had no clue about.

Edd sends Kevin a text Sunday night explaining that if he dies, Kevin knows why.

Kevin laughs aloud as he starts to reply.

_Kev_: You scared to do it?

He waits a moment for a reply, but it doesn't come until 10 minutes later. He's surprised to see a notification for a picture message from Edd, and immediately opens it.

He's floored at the image.

Edd's grinning wickedly, gap in clear view. He's giving Kevin a thumbs up with a gloved hand, yellow-green dye smeared on the tip of the thumb. In the background is Eddy checking himself out in the mirror, looking too smug, with yellow-green dye smeared all over his scalp.

A few moments later, Kevin receives a follow-up message.

_Edd_: I ended up hiding the jar from him. I struggled to convince Eddy that the dye just looks that bright because we re-bleached it on Saturday. But I assured him it will darken into a blue color over time. He bought it after I mentioned Nazz likes blue hair.

Kevin chuckles lightly to himself, but then worries if this will end badly for him come tomorrow.

On Monday, Eddy endured all sorts of nicknames and comparisons. Lemons and limes, lizards, and looking like his hair was about to puke were the most common ones.

Kevin withheld from his own taunts only because he didn't want Edd to get blamed. But it was extremely difficult to hold back.

At lunch, Kevin shows up in his gym clothes with a take-out bag hidden under a jacket. He finds Edd and sits next to him. Edd gives him a confused look as Kevin opens the bag and starts drawing out food. He pulls out a turkey club sandwich for himself and Edd's favorite salad from the eatery just across from the school grounds.

"Kevin! Don't tell me you snuck out during gym to go off campus and-"

"Hush, dork. I told you I'd get lunch if you screwed up Eddy's hair," Kevin said, pushing the boxed salad toward Edd.

Halfway through lunch, Nat comes up and sits in front of Kevin. "Oh, so _that_'s where you went. And you brought nothing for me… I see, you little-"

"C'mon, man!" Kevin said around a mouthful of sandwich. "I had to. I owed Edd here lunch, especially after he made Eddy… well…" Kevin struggled to figure out what to say without outing Edd.

"Dude. What's up with the twerp's hair, anyway?"

Eddy and Kevin started giggling. They decide it was safe to tell him and details the events of how they decided to sabotage his attempt at wooing Nazz.

"But why did he think dying his hair would get her attention?" Nat asked.

"Because she's close to you."

"Dude, come on! She's just cool with me… she's not interest in me in _that_ way. And I'm not either."

"Oh, we know. His attempts at winning her over are completely futile," Edd says, eyeing Kevin. They leave out why it's futile, both knowing that she's in a secret relationship with Marie, who goes to another high school.

Nat then turns to Edd and says, "So which of Eddy recent hair colors do you think is best?"

Edd shrugs as he scrapes up the last bite of his salad.

"The current shade of green?"

Edd gives him a disgusted look. "Really, I think it's awful!"

"I think it's best because it humors me the most," Nat replied causally.

Kevin laughs heartedly at that.

Nat leaned over the table towards Edd. "Okay, between Eddy's trip down the rainbow and my teal hair, which do you like best." Nat starts running his hands through his hair, while looking seductively at Edd.

Kevin glares at him.

Edd finished the last bite of his salad before saying, "To be honest none of them."

"None!?" Nat gives him an offended look.

Edd shrugs. "I'm just not a fan of all those outrageous artificial colors. I'd much prefer natural redhead."

Kevin spits out his milk across the table, causing Nat to bolt up in disgust, wiping it off his shirt. Edd collects his trash casually, apparently unphased by the milk mishap next to him.

"Thank you for the lunch, Kevin!"

He gets up and throws it away before walking out of the cafeteria. He refused to look back, lest Kevin sees Edd's own shade of red splayed across his face.

-the end-


End file.
